I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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