I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize