Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
