Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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