The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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