Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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