Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
