i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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