So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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