he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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