My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
