Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize