guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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