I'm so fucking centered right now
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize