I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
