the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
