DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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