Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
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Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
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You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize