Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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