Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.