i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?