Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND