I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me