My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.