That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?