About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
