Porn is love you can see.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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