Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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