I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
