he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
