I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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