I bet he comes in French.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
