NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
