hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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