Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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