Nicole vs. Life
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
