Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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