You work out of a Hotel?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
