oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize