oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
