WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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