I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
