Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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