It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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