; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
