I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't deserve a penis
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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