you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
