I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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