I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
