woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
