Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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