i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
