Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize