So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
