I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
