please come you make the beer taste better
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
