So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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