And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
