Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
