...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
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