It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
