I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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