The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
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my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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