Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
