Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Randomize
