so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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