i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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