There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
