he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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