It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
